Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Take care

I've found my will to write again, at least momentarily, and while I pray (this is how grim it's become, I'm resorting to prayer) that it will last I've decided that I will only allow myself to hope a little. Just like I'm only hoping a little bit that I can restore some sort of nice look and feel to this blog after I applied a new theme, and then found that basically nothing works and I cannot find my way back to what once was.

Bare with me, folks. I am trying my very best to integrate back into society. Baby steps.

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

A letter to my future self (from the past, the unpublished archives)

I'm actually not sure when I wrote the below but I would hazard to guess it's over a year ago. I've been absent from here for too long. I've not written for too long. I'm back again. My stats page is telling me that people are still visiting and I'm thankful to you. I'm glad you're still here but now I need to sort out the new themes and make this place home again. But, until then I leave you with this, from the unpublished archives:

I've not always been good to myself. It's not that I've been any worse to myself than your average person but I have pushed myself in areas that I instinctively knew weren't good for me. I thought that the pain I felt as a result of it was just normal, a part of life and living, and that it was just the way life is supposed to be. I knew I had it in me to be more adventurous and free, and to let go more, but I chose security for the most part because that's what we're taught to do, it's what we're supposed to do, but mostly because that's what I needed to do at the time. Or thought I needed. Both knowing and thinking hold equal power in our minds most of the time if we're not careful.

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