Saturday, January 23, 2016

Soooo

I woke up with the best idea ever!

I was finally going to write the novel I've wanted to write since I was in my teens but since that's already been done, I mean writing a novel, by soooo many people before me soooo many time, and with varying results, I thought that perhaps since we live in a sort of "clickonomy" I would make it an app. It's soooo obviously the way to go!

So, the idea is that you get to choose where the story goes next and kind of build your own book as you read which also makes it more like a game as well so it's a two for one - awesome value, right?

It could even have in app purchases if you want more possible scenarios. You could read that sucker soooo many times and find soooo many new things every time, and you'd sit there and think "Wow, I missed that the first time I read it, this is soooo cool" like you do with books sometimes but that experience would happen more often (which equals more value, more awesome value, right?).

It blew my mind until I realized that I was seriously entertaining having this done by end of the weekend, tested Monday by my beta readers, tweaked Tuesday (it's Australia Day so it's a public holiday for me) and then launched by the next weekend because it would take me a few days to negotiate a deal, do some art for it and so on while I was working full time earning a living as well.

I realized I lacked the know-how on how to app it (is that how you say it, "how to app it"?), and the time to write several different story lines (cutting an pasting off the internet would be soooo wrong) and the basic motivation which in this case would leave me without resources for the project.

Did I mention I changed jobs recently and now live in a world of scheduling projects at least 40 hours a week? It's apparently spilling over into my subconscious and it's trying to meld with a more creative side of me.

Yikes!

It's been a brutal couple of weeks since I started. I was thrown in deep end, or probably more like the sinkhole end really, and being what I am, a high performer that expects soooo much of myself, I had my first real crisis by midday of day four. I was really feeling that this was sooo not going to work for me.

I was lucky. I started with two other people in the same department. One is a copywriter in his late twenties who seems to have somehow managed to store all the facts in the whole world in his mind, it's sooo obvious he's artificial intelligence - nice job though evil scientists - and who is seriously weird and who is related to an Olympic swimmer.

The other is, and this is sooo confusing for me, a woman of Chinese extraction who is approximately half my size and a good eight years younger than me but who is my twin sister! I didn't even notice at first that we were rapidly becoming close until we were close, soooo close, and she feels the same. There's simply nothing separating her and I anymore which is soooo confusing for all the other people in the office especially since we're doing two very different jobs and we look soooo different. We don't really care about causing confusion ourselves though. It's our payback for them not having a real structure we can enter and integrate into. We're soooo pissed about there being no real structure.

On day six they added another person who's basically in a similar position to me. She's nothing like "us" (my Chinese alter ego and I) and she likes to reply to our common manager with things like "thank you sooo much" and she wears stripper shoes for about half a day before she switches to flats. Hence, no triplet scenario. She doesn't fit in with "us" but we're still soooo nice to her.

If this post is confusing it's because I'm confused. Big change, like changing jobs, is a major deal and this was made more major because of the way I've been made to enter the organization. I'm starting to find my footing but it's going to take time. I've gone from being the Queen of Technical Documentation and Knowing it All to being Dumb and Dumber - at least that's how it feels for me.

It's good though, it's forcing me to really come face to face with something that I've soooo taken for granted about myself and that I can probably do with challenging (like not realizing until now that my true soul sister is Chinese - I've been looking in all the wrong faces!). Not being entirely sure that this is where I will be in a year's time I just recognize that this was a very important step for me, getting out of my old workplace where the breakdown happened, and moving into a place where I get to really road test the new rebuilt me.

Things are going to move rapidly for me for a while, as it should, and then I will settle down. Some things will happen faster than others, like not using "soooo" in a blog post over and over, and others will simmer along a little slower.

I'm finding some comfort in the not knowing how things will turn out and the mystery of not knowing what's around the corner, and I'm finding that I have a new sort of faith that things will be alright.

2016 has started out fast paced and I don't expect it to slow down. It's going to be a hell of a year.

I'm just saying.

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