It's a forgotten place this blog. Ever since I kicked O to the curb and stopped having so much to whinge and woe-me about I've progressively dropped the ball more and more.
I lost the will to write for the longest time and it was painful. For someone who loves to express themselves in words, sentences, paragraphs and chunks of text I found myself without the will to express anything. I turned inwards and I didn't like what I saw. At all.
All that drama that had fueled me was stripped away by me consciously but I wasn't prepared for what it would do to me. It changed me. It's changing me radically and while I'm not sure if it's for the better I have a sneaking suspicion in it is.
The will to write is slowly coming back again.
There is less dishonesty in my life now (and that's not only because I don't have an O to provide plenty of it but also) because I've stopped sugar-coating so much. I want something better for myself and I've come to realize that it's frustrating business trying to bring that about in a world where you have so little control. When you're after big change patience is a must but it's probably what you have the least of.
So, I've hit it up where I can control. End of November I was overcome with a sudden desire to run the 14km City to Surf race in August next year. Not walk. Not run-walk. Run. I want to run it. I want to run the whole thing and I want to be able to even power up the infamous Heartbreak Hill.
On the 26th of November I began training. My overweight but fit, cycling conditioned body was made to walk and I began with a distance of 5.6km. It hurts walking when your legs are so conditioned to cycling for an hour and a half at least seven to eight hours a week.
Your knees protest.
Your feet hurt.
You get stiff.
You get blisters.
You get a stupid grin on your face because you're achieving something and you're stepping into new territory, and it is new territory for me because I've always hated running because I suck at it. But I've begun, I've begun the process of making myself into a runner and come August next year I'm running that race and it will be a milestone for me.
It's only like Donkey Kong. New goals, a new me and a new course plotted for my life in 2015. I hope it will bring me a lot more satisfaction and I also hope that 2015 will bring me the love I've been wanting all my life but most of all a time when I finally feel at peace with myself.
I'm just saying.
My mother has Alzeheimer's. Over the course of six months I have watched from a distance how my mother seems to be disappearing bit...
How serious is this shit? May seem odd to you that I'm asking that but I'm serious about it. How serious is this shit? I bought a ...
When life’s kicked you in the head the first thing you need to do is resist the urge to hit back. Turn the other cheek. “Like fuck!” you say...
I post hopelessly infrequently here. I feel a little bad about it, I have to tell you, because when I check the stats, and I actually do t...