It's been a while, well more than a while, and sitting back down in front of my trusty Mac to tap away at the keyboard to blog seems a little out of place. In my living memory I've just gone through the longest period ever when I haven't wanted to express myself through words. It's left me feel oddly mute.
It's not that I haven't been thinking, I've been doing a lot of thinking and a lot of soul searching, it's just that I haven't had a hell of a lot to say about it. The world has continued to revolve around itself while I've been sitting in my little corner just happy letting it do its thing.
It's been less drama and less seeking but I can tell you that it's been more finding out about myself and heading in new directions. I'm not setting new goals; I find setting goals to be highly overrated, like one of those things desperate people do when they have fallen for the need to be successful and swallowed it hook line and sinker. I've just sat and wondered if it's not time to just opt out of all that.
I'm in therapy again. I'm finally dealing with wounds so deep we're digging down in the dirt that is my childhood. It's like digging through dirt to discover the different layers left behind by time and realizing that nothing is left untouched by the past unless you occasionally stir things up and add something new. In my case there's much to sift through and it's hard work but part of it's been rewarding and it has taught me a lot about myself and who I am, and why I am that who I am.
So, I'll be back here, hopefully more than intermittently, scribing and letting you know what I think about a world that's been left to go haywire and chaotic simply because no one seems able to take any real responsibility. Our world is like a kindergarten where the teachers are all having a tea break at the same time while Kevin and Rosa are waging a war over a bucket in the sandpit, and Rajeev and Chin are trying to dig a whole under the fence to escape the confines of the center. But, we're all there, together, and it's about time we start getting a long because the teachers aren't going to come and sort crap out anytime soon.
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