Wednesday, January 29, 2014

For fear of Karoshi

I had a long weekend off, it being Australia Day on Sunday which gifted us with a Monday public holiday and then it being my birthday yesterday. I kind of like the double weekend effect of having two extra days off.

I've been thinking a lot about it lately, about what all this working gets me except for a handsome pay packet, and I can really feel how much it's draining me. It's not really the work that drains me, it's the need to buy into office politics and being stressed that really gets to me. There are so many people that don't think you're doing your bit unless they see some sort of anxiousness in your eyes when you're going through a big project.

Since my nervous breakdown a few years ago there's nothing I really fear more than having another breakdown, even if that would seem excessively stupid and careless. Apparently Aussies work longer hours than the Japanese now and that just can't be good especially since it's kind of expected of you especially if you're management.

I came across the word Japanese word "karoshi" the other day and while it sounds nice and almost pleasant, even a little mystical and palatable, it's meaning is "death by overwork". I remain convinced that my mind kind of "karoshied" a few years ago when I had my breakdown and it's not been the same since, and I just don't want to go there again. I've also realized that the worst thing I can do is to worry about it because then it just becomes a vicious circle, so I'm just kind of breathing through the threat of another mind kasochi and making peace with wherever my mind is at now. Hopefully it's the key to anti-karoshi enlightenment.

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