Friday, September 13, 2013

It has come down to this

I don’t want to be stopped any longer from doing things I want to do because I don’t think I can, shouldn’t or just don’t have the confidence to do it. I’ve played in my own little-league for most of my life and I feel it’s time I start living and that I start honouring myself and my dreams.

Sometimes it’s hard to define yourself and your dreams, and to be honest with you I’m OK with that. I’m OK with it being a struggle for me. That’s who I am. That’s my starting point, my you are here dot on the map of my life. Changing dreams into actions takes courage and stepping out of your comfort zone, challenging the way you think and the definitions you’ve accepted for yourself.

I believe in order to be happy we have to grow, we have to challenge and stretch ourselves but it’s important that the way we do it is in ways that we ourselves have identified as being what we want to do. There’s seldom the same satisfaction and real growth coming out of some work KPO that an organisation has determined for you unless you have the fortune of having a manager that also has an interest in mentoring you as a person.

Things around here will change; I did say beginning of this year that things will change for me in 2013. It appears I’ve listened to myself. A lot of things have changed and while there are things that I would have like to have happen a lot sooner I also feel that I’m right on track. I set something in motion when I said to myself with real conviction that things will change for me in 2013.

I hope that I can keep the momentum going and for the first time in a very long to time I have real hope that I can. Ideas are being formed and ready to be born and there’s a real sense of forming an idea of what I want to do with the rest of my life. This is good, it’s the beginning of defining me which is something I’ve been needing to do for a very long time. The best part of it all is that this birth is completely unaffected by others and this time I will allow myself to form into something that I truly want for myself, not something I’m doing to please others.

I’m working on some ideas for Spilling Ink. I’m not promising spectacular results but I’m promising myself to do it for my own pleasure and satisfaction. I’m looking forward to being able to be really creative this weekend since my house is now all clean and in order, and more importantly, it’s the way I want it to be, and the way Bee wants it to be.

2 comments:

  1. There's an old expression that still holds true, "follow your heart". Often as not, it's that simple.

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  2. I think the trick is that you have to know what it is your heart truly want. It's not some Hollywood love story thing we're talking about (and it seems I really thought it was at least a few times in my life) but something deeper and more, oh I hesitate to use the word, meaningful.

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