Tuesday, January 1, 2013

On being wrong

None of us like to be wrong. In fact we hate being wrong so much that we will argue even after proof has been put in front of us that we are indeed wrong.

When you encounter someone who doesn't agree with you, you kind of go through this process:

First you think that the person you're talking to lacks information so you start giving the information you think they're lacking. You assume that all you need to do is to give them the information they lack and you'll have them agreeing with you in no time.

If they still don't agree with you, you start assuming that they're an idiot. How could they possibly be anything else now that they have all the correct information? There should be no problem; they should be seeing things your way. Well, they're not so therefore you think they're an idiot.

If they prove to be as smart or perhaps even smarter than you, you have a serious issue on your hands. How could it be that they're smart and have the correct information but they still can't see things your way? There's only one explanation: They're evil. They're working against you for their own private gain and therefore they're evil.

It's broadly the truth for most of us.

In my case I have come to realize that I don't so much do this with other people because after all my self esteem is quite low (yeah, yeah, I'm working on it!) and I pretty much think that everyone is smarter than me or have more information than me. In my case I don't do it so much with other people as I do it with myself. The little part of me that launched me into depression has done a splendid job of making the part of me that is supportive look like a fool and sometimes even like it was evil.

So, I see that I have been wrong about myself. I see that I need to change the way I think about myself in order to make happy. I can't be like Wile E Coyote all my life running after the Roadrunner ending up in mid-air realizing I can't fly only to end up crashing.

I was wrong. Now I'm right. ;)


  1. Perhaps it's not about right and wrong ... just a hundred shades of gray.

    1. Aha Bill! You've hit the nail on the head, of course. There are no real rights or wrongs, just a multitude of opinions and way of looking at things. Unfortunately most people don't realize that and they think that people are either wrong (i.e. don't agree with you) or right (i.e. do agree with you).

      And, thank you for not saying FIFTY shades of gray. It would have triggered some sort of allergic reaction or alcohol binge drinking episode in me, I'm sure.

  2. Egad, I never thought of the fifty reference. I considered writing "an infinite amount" but I can't count that far.


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