Monday, July 2, 2012

There are times when I feel like my soul is bursting at the seams

There are times when I feel like my soul is bursting at the seams. It’s as if my being is not large enough for it anymore and it’s threatening to break free. I’m left to wonder what would happen if it did. Would I lose my sanity or burst into sudden splendid bloom?

I was lying in my bed Friday night in state somewhere between sleep and consciousness. My consciousness was a seamless stream of images and I had the feeling I was walking through life much like one walks down a street. The images began to blur as though someone had decided to apply Gaussian blur to them and they slowly became so blurry that one color formed from them and it became a lone star in a night sky.

I lay there and stared at the light star, and I pondered the absence of the usual pattern the inside of my eyelids provide me with. It was so utterly calm and I came to realize that nothing else mattered. All the things my mind chooses to occupies itself with normally had ceased to exist and lost all importance.

I was. I just was.

The feeling lingers and it grows. The anxiety and restlessness has competition now and it’s beginning to lose its grip on me.

There are times when I feel like my soul is bursting at the seams.

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