Thursday, July 12, 2012

self confidence or rather the lack thereof

there comes a time (when i realize i really do need to get a new keyboard because being without a left shift key sucks and) I have to ask myself why i'm on antidepressants.

i have to. ask myself. that.

it's not that i feel so much better now that i am beginning to suspect i don't need them anymore. it's more a case of that i don't feel good enough to warrant me taking them. i need another solution and i would prefer that it not be trying another antidepressant.

i prefer to get better.

i prefer to stop being anxious.

i prefer to stop doubting myself and somehow get a massive injection of self confidence.

i prefer to come to some sort of conclusion as to what my self value is so that i don't have to keep asking him if he loves me.

the problem with me is that i spent a good portion of my adult life being told that i was this, that and the other. before that i was a teenager and i was told that i was this, that and the other. i'm simply not equipped to tell myself that i am this, that or the other. i have to have someone else do this for me or i get hella confused.

i could pay someone, or i could develop the ability to create a value for myself. i happen to think that's the answer to my depression and anxiety.

now if one of you could please give me the recipe. i need to cook me up some of that.

1 comment:

  1. answers have I none :-(
    but the same question is in my mind too

    ReplyDelete

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