It's time to start fighting the flab again

It's time to start fighting the flab again. It's ridiculous, I know, but I'm having another go at it. My current plan is not so much of a plan as it is a desperate attempt of making myself take up less room in this world and move onto wearing skinny jeans with Doc Martins. That's my goal. You can poo poo it if you like but that's my goal.

I'm eating konjak noodles. Konjak noodles are rubbery, tasteless and really rather unpleasant to eat. They one major plus though. A whole packet will set you back about 20 calories unless you're in America where they apparently, using the American system of counting calories, have no calories at all. I should go there and I would lose weight even faster.

Konjak noodles have another plus. The few carbohydrates, and therefor calories, that are in them are all fiber so you're going to give your tum tum a good workout too if you know what I mean. Because they are basically all fiber they also fill you up in a way no other food has ever done with me. You feel like you've been stomach stapled after eating a serving of these.

So, they taste like nothing which leaves you with the texture and the texture leaves a lot to be desired. They're rubbery and so they're very chewy. If you're going to eat these things you're going to have to find something to eat them with that's going to make it worth it and I guess that's the challenge. The low calories in the noodles leave you with some room to play though.

My easy and very low calorie favorite is the instant miso soup (40 calories) with added Tabasco sauce. I rarely down the all the miso soup so I probably end up taking in about 50 calories in the whole meal. It sounds ridiculously low, and it is, but if you can stand to eat this you can then afford to eat other things that taste better without cutting back too severely.

So far the plan is to substitute one meal a day with konjak noodles and miso and see how it goes. Hopefully it will have a positive effect and I will start seeing myself shrink before my very own eyes.

This is about health my friends. The other day I bumped into the grandfather of a boy who my daughter used to play with. He's in his early sixties and he was just diagnosed with diabetes and is now only allowed to eat "a lettuce leaf a day" according to what he told me. I suspect he's allowed a little more than that, like he's allowed to have a glass of water at least!, but it really hit home with me that prevention is better because there's no cure.

I'm allowing a huge space for failure, like a football field size space, because of my depression. If I succeed despite the depression it's great but we all know how Hitler went with fighting on two fronts and how the war ended. The depression takes priority.

Because it's a whiny attention seeking little arsehole and my weight can wait.

Or something like that.

I mean the weight is not going to run away leaving me missing out on the opportunity to fight it. It seems pretty much happy to stay where it is. On me. Waiting for me to fight it. It wants to fight. It's not going without one, that much is clear.

But once I have dropped a nuclear bomb in depression's pants and it's gone, like G O N E, then it's the weight's turn and it's going to burn, burn, burn! (Just letting it know who's the boss, is all.)

I'll let you know how I go with the konjak noodle thing. Six months of having konjak noodles for lunch may just be worth it you know. It will teach me to appreciate other foods more!


  1. You commented on Smaller Fun Pant's blog about almond milk, and I just wanted to share this link with you. I've made it before and its basically the best thing in the world. I hope you get a chance to try it! I used almonds, she uses hazelnuts, but you can use any nut, really. Enjoy!

    1. Lily Fluffbottom, you're awesome! It's just not your name.

  2. Hi,

    Great site! I'm trying to find an email address to contact you on to ask if you would please consider adding a link to my website. I'd really appreciate if you could email me back.

    Thanks and have a great day!

    1. Well thank you but as for how to e-mail you back I'm at a loss...


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