Monday, December 19, 2011

Lost and Found

I'm really struggling with my depression. It's not getting any better for now at least. Add to that the fact that my parents don't want to do our customary Christmas call because they have to walk their dogs before they travel to my brothers to celebrate Christmas. Needless to say I now feel rejected by my own family. I was sitting here the other day thinking that I need my family now and perhaps I need to make more of an effort...or something.

The other day I read an article in a Swedish newspaper. It was about domestic violence and the comments (never read the comments unless you want to get mad - rule no. 1) got me so mad I had to comment myself using my Facebook profile.

I was not prepared for the result. At all.

Within a few hours I had received three requests on Facebook from people belonging to the same family. Not actually knowing who they really were I accepted them, something was telling me I should, and as it turns out they are from a part of the family that we didn't know existed until I was in my mid teens (some distant memory of them must have existed for me to accept the requests...). Two of them are my cousins and one of them is the wife of my mother's half brother. They all seemed so happy to have found me.

Today I arrived at work to find the loveliest e-mail from my uncle (said mother's half brother). At a time when I really needed to belong somewhere I'm desperately fighting the urge I have to think I have no business accepting their kind invitation to be part of their family now. They're so happy to get in contact with me - I'm the lost and found - and are tentatively reaching out and simultaneiously worrying about intruding.

But as I said my dears, I sat here and thought I need family just the other day only to have my parents call me and break the news about the phone call.

Do you believe the Universe is listening to you and is ready to help when you need it?

Today I do. Today I really do.

Sometimes it arrives in an unexpected way but it's the still the same wish fulfilled.

1 comment:

  1. sometimes I think the Universe is listening, other times I think it's playing mean tricks...

    but you are not alone, not at all, you know that don't you?

    still, nice to have found some family

    ReplyDelete

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