You can have fun with that sort of thing. Like I am. He’s still got his performance review coming up with me beginning of the year. He’s shitting his little pants right now. I’m not mean y’all and I will be subjective, oops objective I mean, a mere Freudian slip I assure you, but I’m kind of enjoying the power it brings me at the moment. He’s been a bit of shit this year. Like when I had my breakdown and he cut his workweek short by two and half hours a week not including the one and a half hours every day he spent writing his own book. He doesn’t know I know but I know, you know.
I’m easily amused at times. This is one of those times. Thank God! It's not been a lot of that lately what with the depression and all.
It’s a good thing though getting rated as a manager and I’m not saying that because I actually rated very well, above average, but because I think it’s important as a manager to get feedback on how you’re managing to manage your direct reports. There should be more of it. How you perform as a manager should be part of your performance review.
But I’m a little more worried about something else at the moment and that is the complete lack of a decent hairstyle and clothes.
I’ve decided to grow my hair. Having chopped it off completely after the March breakdown, don’t get me wrong it was a really good idea and it suited me, I have now come full circle and I want my locks back again. Problem is that like Rome long hair is not built in a day. I have to wait. I’m not a patient person. I try to take the stance that what I have now is a completely tolerant other kind of hairstyle, not just and in between kind of hairstyle, but it looks like Princess Di hair on a really bad day. It’s completely lame. What can you do but wait for this stage to pass? I suppose a scarf is a good alternative if all else fails. Maybe I should spend the holidays knitting beanies. Or maybe just give mirrors a miss. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrch!
|Although, it can work...|
I’m conflicted about the wearing dress thing though because I have big calves and flabby upper arms. I need to lose weight. I’ve been saying that for ages. I even started a page here in October to track my progress only to realize the other day that it’s gone. To where? I don’t know. Maybe it realized it was an embarrassment and shoved off. I don’t know. I do know though that one shouldn’t try to lose weight while in the throes of severe depression. It’s like trying to row a boat up a waterfall.
So for now I will have lame hair, wear jeans and no Doc Martins and I will try my damnedest to be content at the weight I am. I feel better today. I will try to hold on to that because trust me it’s more than something. It’s a lot.
Over and out! I have things to smile about (for once).