Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Heh! ...and other stuff

I just had my feedback session for the manager survey they did at work. They actually got the plebeians to rate their masters! I like it! Except in my case I’m left with two direct reports and it’s easy to tell who out of the two gave me lower ratings consistently.


You can have fun with that sort of thing. Like I am. He’s still got his performance review coming up with me beginning of the year. He’s shitting his little pants right now. I’m not mean y’all and I will be subjective, oops objective I mean, a mere Freudian slip I assure you, but I’m kind of enjoying the power it brings me at the moment. He’s been a bit of shit this year. Like when I had my breakdown and he cut his workweek short by two and half hours a week not including the one and a half hours every day he spent writing his own book. He doesn’t know I know but I know, you know.


I’m easily amused at times. This is one of those times. Thank God! It's not been a lot of that lately what with the depression and all.

It’s a good thing though getting rated as a manager and I’m not saying that because I actually rated very well, above average, but because I think it’s important as a manager to get feedback on how you’re managing to manage your direct reports. There should be more of it. How you perform as a manager should be part of your performance review.

But I’m a little more worried about something else at the moment and that is the complete lack of a decent hairstyle and clothes.

I’ve decided to grow my hair. Having chopped it off completely after the March breakdown, don’t get me wrong it was a really good idea and it suited me, I have now come full circle and I want my locks back again. Problem is that like Rome long hair is not built in a day. I have to wait. I’m not a patient person. I try to take the stance that what I have now is a completely tolerant other kind of hairstyle, not just and in between kind of hairstyle, but it looks like Princess Di hair on a really bad day. It’s completely lame. What can you do but wait for this stage to pass? I suppose a scarf is a good alternative if all else fails. Maybe I should spend the holidays knitting beanies. Or maybe just give mirrors a miss. Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrch!

Although, it can work...
Adding the hair dilemma, and believe you me it's a dilemma, my wardrobe is failing at the moment. Failing to excite. It’s not working for me. I would love some hip vintage dresses rather than just jeans I tend to wear. I would ideally like some vintage dresses that go with Doc Martin boots. This would be a complete fashion faux pas, or more like and epic fail, as we know and it’s impossible to pull off but this is like trying to fight eating chocolate when you’re PMSing. Do not try that at home. Or anywhere. It’s not a good idea trying that anywhere. It’s very likely someone will get hurt. I want to wear Doc Martins with dresses. That’s what I want Santa!

I’m conflicted about the wearing dress thing though because I have big calves and flabby upper arms. I need to lose weight. I’ve been saying that for ages. I even started a page here in October to track my progress only to realize the other day that it’s gone. To where? I don’t know. Maybe it realized it was an embarrassment and shoved off. I don’t know. I do know though that one shouldn’t try to lose weight while in the throes of severe depression. It’s like trying to row a boat up a waterfall.

So for now I will have lame hair, wear jeans and no Doc Martins and I will try my damnedest to be content at the weight I am. I feel better today. I will try to hold on to that because trust me it’s more than something. It’s a lot.

Over and out! I have things to smile about (for once).


  1. Y'know, all it takes is one accent in the right place to go from lame to lameé (or "Lam-ay" if blogger is not feeling HTML-friendly)

  2. Oh, curse you, Blogger! Whyforee thee extrae e???

  3. My hair fell out in handfuls when I broke down. It was very stressful and upsetting. However, it has now decided to grow very quickly indeed. When I moved here a fifteen months ago it was short, at my ears, now it hangs halfway down my back and is heading for my waist. I intend to let it grow so that I can be the oldest Rapunzel in the land.

  4. Anything looks good with Doc Martin boots...go for it!



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