Sunday, November 13, 2011

Fair game - the art of only worrying about your own work

It's become a bit of a theme in the comments on this blog and to at least some extent it's provoked by subjects I choose to write about. Women feel like they're not getting an even break in our society.

I don't think we are, I think I've made that much clear, but I think it's more due to our won mindset than anything else. Yeah, you heard me. I think it's our own fault, not fully and wholly but we have to take responsibility for at least some of it girls!

We're very quick to say that we are taught to behave like good girls. We don't seem to get very far when we do but we still do it. When we don't do it the men around us are pretty quick to call us bitchy and most of the time we start behaving again.

We were sent out to work in a man's world and what we have failed to do is to make it our as well. Women do think differently and I think we have more of a tendency to try to be fair and to think more of the team than the majority of men do.

I'm not all for changing yourself until you can't recognize who you are anymore but what I am in favor of is playing the game the way it should be played. If someone is giving you the shits you should tell them and I don't think it matters what level that person is on. What is wrong with turning around to your boss and say 'I don't like the way you treat me!" There should be nothing wrong with that at all.

And as for being called bitchy. Take a look at how men treat each other and you soon realize that most of them call each other names too. They get over it though.

Personally this is something I need to do. I have spent a lot of time covering for the shortcomings of my senior writer because I felt it reflected badly on me. Truth is that it reflects far worse on him but I have to allow others to see it. That means that I don't check his work and correct it before it goes out. It means that I allow documents to reach others so that they can see.

The attitude is all wrong, I know. It's about getting the work done and to do it well but this guy takes credit quick enough and when the other guys in the department walk past me to talk to him, I am his boss, and he proceeds to talk like he runs the show then I think it's kind of fair game. Don't you?

This week I will take full responsibility for everything I author and I will take none for what he authors. I need to do this because I need to play by the rules that exist in my workplace. There is no one for all, all for one. There's only one and none.

It's an experiment.


  1. Totally agree - for me it's all about taking back the control relinquished a long time ago.

    I have a situation which has been brewing for 25yrs and if I am to grow & prosper I need to put my foot down and let a certain individual know they need to back it up, in a very calm, controlled & calculated way - wish me luck!

  2. Good luck Jody Pearl! Good luck to both of us!

    I really think that we us women need to allow ourselves to have a lot more power than we usually do. We tend to wait for our turn and when it doesn't become our turn we seem to get a little confused. It's simple, get your elbows sharpened and grow a set.

  3. I am biting my tongue to stop myself from ranting on about The Beast and all that was unfair about it.

    And I am struggling to show my current bosses the benefits of employing women in a geeky-boys' world.

    Meanwhile I am learning to be more assertive and more in control.

    Lord but it's tiring!

  4. Yip - I plan a return to work in a fortnight...
    and it will be a different me - one that stands up for myself...and refuses to cover for the stuff I have been absorbing.
    I've been really fortunate to be honest - my current line manager is a real gem. Supportive and understanding - and is missing me in a positive way. She has been where I am - and is in danger of burning herself out too. So my experience has been a wake up for her too...


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