Thursday, September 15, 2011

How to not enjoy life

Expect everyone else to behave and think like you do.

Worry and fret about everything. Make sure to include things unlikely to happen and when they don’t happen, worry even more.

Don’t enjoy life’s simple pleasures. Fixate on meatier matters. Stop enjoying sunsets and the first cup of coffee of the day. If your dog wags its tail when it sees you, decide not to take it personally.

Don’t appreciate your achievements, instead minimize them and regard them as things that any fool could do.

Keep raising the bar and turn striving for excellence into an exhausting, everlasting quest without an end goal.

Be much harder on yourself than you would be on others. Embrace martyrdom fully! Make things harder on yourself.

Expect others to know when you’re upset and regard their failure to know as a sign that they don’t care about you at all. If they still care tell yourself it's because they are codependant and they have no choice.

Blame your parents, siblings, cousins, co-workers, bosses and teachers, hell even your neighbors, for how your life’s turned out. Let there be no statute of limitations on their perceived transgressions and wrong doings.

Find people to associate with who have a similar negative outlook on life so you can reinforce each other’s’ feelings. If you can find someone who also berates you for your neagtive outlook on life it's even better.

Forget about breaking your goals up into smaller incremental steps. Accept nothing but the full achievement instantly every time.

Don’t set deadlines. You’ll get there eventually, right?

Expect an even playing field because, as you know, the world is renowned for being fair.

3 comments:

  1. heck, you talking to me? :)
    You made me squirm a little reading this.
    Especially no 4.
    Hmm, food for thought...

    The world may not be fair but it is is full of possibilities that are there for the taking, that's my response

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, they're all straight out my very own handbook!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think we bought the same book!

    ReplyDelete

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