It’s not me, it’s you

You know when you’re in a relationship and you just can’t quite put your finger on it but you’re just not as happy as you should be. Something’s making you feel a little insecure. The other half isn’t complimenting you anymore and he/she’s not making the moves he used to. He/she suddenly spends a lot more time in front of his computer and a lot of the time when you come into the room he/she closes whatever he/she had up. He/she wants more time to himself/herself. He/she’s not sharing his shit with you and you’re not sure what’s going on.

Is you feeling like there’s something odd going on a sign of that the jig is up or that you’ve basically begun to bust him/her at some two timing game? I’m inclined to say yes.

I don’t know what makes people stay with people they’re not all happy with but I think it’s possibly the most unfair thing you can do it someone. I think that staying with someone if you know you don’t feel for them how you know they want you to or how you’ve led them to believe that you do is simply cruel. I know it’s an ego thing for some people to two-time their other half and get away with it but it’s a cruel thing to do. If you’ve given the impression that you’re not going to stray and you do it, even if it’s just you starting to chase potentials on the internet you’ve just joined the clan of liars. I don’t think there’ any ifs or buts about it if you’re hiding it.

Why lie about something like that? Why not tell someone the truth? I don’t know how many times I’ve heard the excuse that the person not being honest doesn’t want to hurt or face the anger of the person they’re lying to. I think that’s cowardly to be honest. I think it has got to be the lamest excuse ever used.

At the basis for all relationships lie honesty and if you can’t be honest why bother keeping the act up? I think it was Seal who said about his relationship with Heidi Klum that first and foremost they are friends because people generally treat their friends better than they do their lovers. Weird isn’t it? One would think that you would be more careful with your lover who has after all given their heart to you. Or, am I just being naïve? I don’t think I’m being naïve when I say I actually agree with Seal, I think we treat our friends better than our lovers.

I may be a little too advanced in age to believe in true love and all that jazz but I still want a relationship where I actually come first and where I’m valued and not lied to. It’s not too much to ask for, is it? Are there actually men out there who are capable of talking about their feelings and being honest? If there are I would like to meet them, or him. I somehow don’t think it’s an unreasonable ideal to hold onto. I don’t think it’s wrong to want that.I do think it’s wrong to hold onto something you know doesn’t feel right for you. If it doesn’t make you happy you need to let it go. If you’ve tried to talk and tell the other person what your concerns are and they’re not being addressed or they refuse to talk to you at all I think it’s safe to say that you need to cut your losses and move on. It will hurt but I think you’re doing yourself a favor in the long run.


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