Thursday, August 18, 2011

I'm so freakin' lost right now

I'm so freakin' lost right now. I've ended up at a cross road again and I just don't know which way to go. I hate it. I like plotting my course and having some sort of idea or feeling of where I'm heading but that's not even close to where I'm right now.

I feel like I'm really too old to get this lost. I feel like by now I ought to have a complete handle on my life and be able to cope with whatever pops up in a completely professional and self-assured manner. Alas, that's not to be.

So while I battle with what right now seem to be huge existential problems and I realize that I'm above all completely shit scared of being alone and unloved I'm trying to pretend that this doesn't sound like I'm going through some sort of bout depression again. It sounds, feels and smells like depression to me. I'm on meds though for god's sake and granted it's for anxiety but it's an SSRI so I should be cruising.

Why am I not cruising ya'll?

3 comments:

  1. Hey InkSpot, relax. I understand exactly how you are feeling, I felt like this a year ago when my life was turned upside-down and everything spun out of control. I was at my lowest. Take a deep breathe, calm your mind and above all, do not panic. Everything will be fine. It worked out ok for me and it will for you too. Have faith, don't listen to the demons, go with the flow even if that flow is a raging torrent right now, tout sera bien...

    ReplyDelete
  2. PS if you want to talk to someone whose been there leave a comment, I won't publish it

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh, honey, welcome to my life! I have faced so many cross-roads without a clue, but life has always worked out. My best advice: BELIEVE in yourself, LOVE yourself, and keep your eyes open for signs from the Universe. :)

    Drop me an email; I'd be happy to chat with you about it all.

    ReplyDelete

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