Saturday, August 13, 2011

Creepy Wayne

I really shouldn't tell you about Creepy Wayne, it's talking ill about someone who can't defend themselves, but I have to. I have to tell you about him.

The first time I met Creepy Wayne was when we had just moved in where I live now. That was less than a year ago. I was sitting on the front step with a friend who was having a cigarette when Wayne unceremoniously joined us and sat down with us on the ground like he was joining a hippie sit in that we were having. He introduced himself as Wayne the owner of the house next door. It was a fair enough thing to do I suppose. I thought he was a little odd but since he wasn't around much I kind of put him out of my mind.

About a month ago Neil who lived in the house Wayne owns moved out and Wayne moved in. He went to great lengths to flag us down not long after he moved in to tell us about it. I kind of felt like he wanted us to cheer or something but in truth I kind of miss Neil who was quiet except for the daily afternoon routine of throwing his beer bottles into the recycle bin. Judging by the sound Neil really like to have a beer or two. Or three. Or four. Maybe even five.

I still didn't pay much attention to Wayne until we took the cats to the vet the other Saturday and he approached us in the afternoon to ask if the cat was OK."Why?" I asked. "Oh, I saw you putting the cat cage in the car with the cat in it to take it to the vet so I assume something is wrong with it." I replied that we had taken all three cats to the vet for a checkup and all was fine.

It's the fact that he had paid such close attention to what we were doing that got me and that's what's earned him the name Creepy Wayne. It's also that often enough I'll be in my drive way or in the yard and his head will pop up over the fence and he'll start a conversation about something that's happened on our side of the fence. It's like he knows better what's going on at our place than we do.

There seems to be an endless array of things that Creepy Wayne has to fix on his old fibro home, a home that he's told us he will knock down in two years time to build a duplex to sell. He's always out there. It makes me feel like he's out there so he can see what we're doing. Like we've got our own spy or something.

I just went out to get some ice cream and there he was again. This time he was looking busy doing something in his electrical box but I just know he was watching. Creepy Wayne probably doesn't even sleep...

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