Thursday, January 20, 2011

Where art thou sleep?

It's no secret that I have a hard time sleeping. Although I sleep a little better nowadays than I did even a year ago I've not got it down to a fine art again as yet. I miss my teen days when I could sleep anywhere and for however long circumstances permitted.

Apparently I don't have much to look forward to in this department. It apparently doesn't get any better as you get older and if you're a woman then you eventually get hit by menopause and you can kiss sleeping good bye. Personally I'd put "the 'pause" on pause in the vain hope that I can get a few decent nights sleep before it hits me with the same subtlety a tonne of bricks hits...something.

If you've ever been sleepless for any length of time you've probably done what I have. You've googled a lot only to find helpful advice like "relax". You've tried to persuade your doctor that you need some serious meds to get some shut eye. You've probably spent a small fortune on CDs that contain music or some sort of hypno mumbo jumbo that doesn't make you sleep but does make you wonder why anyone without musical talent or with a voice (or accent) like that could ever think they could help people nod off.

 When it comes to music that puts you to sleep weirder is not always better, in fact it is seldom better at all.

When it comes to talking people to sleep it takes seriously mad skills and I'm afraid only corporate people and politicians possess those. The only person I've ever encountered that could make a serious attempt at making me dose off at any time was the old Chief Financial Controller in my company. He was aided by incredibly cluttered Powerpoint presentations as a visual accompaniment to his droning.  No one stands a chance under those circumstances.

Wonder what he's doing now. Maybe I could give him a ring and he could e-mail me some old slides and talk to me for a while.

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