Saturday, November 21, 2015

Moving on

"Be there for others but never leave yourself behind." Dodinsky

I think it appeals to me to annoy myself with using a quote at the beginning of a post. It's like I'm poking myself, causing a slight discomfort so that I will move along. People don't move unless there's slight discomfort and I'm people.

The whole point this week has been about moving out of discomfort. I'm moving on from a job I've held for 16 years and that I'm rather freakishly good at. The rather freakishly good at thing probably stems from that I have been allowed to really shape the documentation and the processes surrounding the authoring of it myself, almost to the point that it's been a little too void of input.

Saturday, November 14, 2015

You own everything that happened to you

"You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should’ve behaved better." Anne Lamott

By Goddess, I hate when people start their posts with a quote, it's like they can't create their own launch pad for the thought rocket they're about to send off into the Universe so they use someone else's. It's lazy, and I have done it twice in the past week. I also hate when people say things like "by Goddess" because it seems bloody pretentious and stupid, and too big a demonstration against patriarchy. Or something. 

I'm a bit moody this morning. Apparently.

Sunday, November 8, 2015

The world is wrong

“The world is wrong. You can’t put the past behind you. It’s buried in you; it’s turned your flesh into its own cupboard.” Claudia Rankine

I'm often at odds with how things are and commonly accepted beliefs in this world. I frequently tilt my head to one side, and then to the other, just so I can look at the world from a different angle because I quickly tire of accepting the status quo. Even when things are running smoothly I get that feeling that soon we need to change how we think, or we'll find ourselves standing up to our noses in quicksand. Just like the seasons change we need change and move, and holding on is madness.

Sunday, November 1, 2015

My space

It started a year ago, that thing I did when I started to sift through my book shelves and cardboard boxes to figure out which books I should let go of. I needed space and so I moved away from my idea that you must never ever let go of books.

Books are to be collected and cherished, and you must come back to them many times to read them to see what you missed the first time you've read them, which is a lot if you're me, I'm a fast reader and I like to devour new books. I like to also see how much I've changed in relation to a book if I've left it sitting for a while before coming back to it. Rereading a book can tell you a lot about how you've grown and changed.

Saturday, October 31, 2015

Passion, life purpose, sycophants and boy toys

Someone posted a link to Mark Manson's  Screw Finding Your Passion on Facebook feed and I didn't really even have to read the article to feel utterly relieved. I feel a little about finding your passion or life purpose as I do about the whole wealth and gratitude thing. I wrote a post about that a while ago....

I did jump on the life purpose bandwagon for a while, I even did courses in a desperate attempt to figure out what it is I'm supposed to be doing with myself. It became very important to me because every time I googled for ways to haul arse out of depression there it was: find your life purpose and become passionate about something.

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Risk and transformation

Normally when I write a blog post I have an idea brewing, and most of the time it's born out of something that has at least to some degree bothered me to the point I feel a need to write about it.

2015 has been a year of introspection for me. I've navel gazed more than I have at any other period in my life, or even combined I think, and it's meant more contemplating what's going on with me and in me than it has bothering so much about what's going on around me. I've had less to say because I'm still figuring out where I am in the big scheme of things.

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Sentence of the Day

If you can't get over the great pains you've suffered then at least take some time to celebrate the fact that you've somehow kept going and growing.

Saturday, October 10, 2015


My latest supporter on my journey to become whole, fantastic, awesome and generally just better than everyone else I ever thought I ever was, is a psychic we will call Bella. Yeah, that's right, you heard me, I'm actually letting a psychic work with me as a way of continuing the journey from being super depressed and super anxious, and it's not because I'm completely nuts or have become utterly, or particularly, spiritual.

Let me start with saying, I think that a little spirituality in life doesn't go astray. I start my day with pressing my hands to the ground while I say out loud:

Sentence of the day

The world is full of people all of equal value to you.

I'm just saying.

Friday, October 9, 2015

When you get what you want(ed)

It's no secret to me that my workplace is a toxic one. My therapist and I have discussed it ad nauseam.

I've also been reporting to a manager for the past four years who's probably the most hands off manager and emotionally distant person I've ever reported to as an employee. His stock standard answer to basically everything was "We're all in the same boat", a line that's quite possibly the most uninspiring thing you can say to your staff at any given time even when you are, in fact, sitting in the same boat (which would just make it a really obvious observation).